Walmart Wildcats
by RedAlert98
Summary: Dick and Wally troll Walmart, Wildcat Style. No Slash, hopefully funny


Walmart Wildcats

"You know they'll never let us in again after this," a certain 13 year old mischief maker told his counterpart.

"Not backing out, are you Dickie-bird?" Wally asked him, smirking as he finished the last detail in preparation.

"As if. Ready? Operation Wildcat is a GO."

* * *

The two entered the main doors, observing their surroundings. They looked at each other, nodded almost imperceptibly, and split up.

Taking a cart, Dick went to the school supplies, toys, and household item aisles, putting as much High School Musical merchandise in it as he could. Casually walking around the store, he dropped an item in every cart and basket he came across, stifling laughter when he planted a hairbrush with Troy Bolton on it in the cart of a guy who was buying body building equipment.

Meanwhile, Wally had gone around the store with over a hundred small cardboard cutouts, the front with Troy Bolton's face, and backs of them saying 'getcha head in the game!'. He was putting them in unsuspecting places where a customer or employee would most definitely come across them, including the doors of bathroom stalls, underneath toilet seats, underneath produce, behind packages of toilet paper, between gallons of milk, inside of egg cartons, and every other place imaginable. It would be months before they were all found.

Ditching the cart, Dick was getting ready to rendezvous with Wally by the Mens Swimwear when he saw a guy with dirty blonde hair, a red jacket on, and dark shades.

A group of 13 or so year old girls were standing nearby looking at earrings.

This was too easy.

Crouching underneath a clothing rack, he threw his voice and exclaimed in his best impression of a fangirl,

"Ohmygosh its Zac Efron! Can you sign my finger?! Please can we take a picture?!"

The reaction was immediate, for the girls pinpointed the supposed 'Zac Efron' in a second and were mobbing him in 3.

He clamped a hand over his mouth to suppress his laughter as he fled the scene, letting out his signature cackle once was out of sight.

* * *

Quite bored with waiting for Dick to arrive, Wally had started browsing through the swimsuits, wrinkling his nose in distaste at the speedos. He wouldn't be caught dead in one of those.

"Not really your cut, dont you think?" someone said behind him, the smirk evident in his voice. Wally snorted and replied, "You took so long I thought you'd flown south for the winter. I thought we were on a schedule?"

"Oh, we are," Dick told him, "Time for phase 3."

Wally ran to aisle 13 while Dick was in aisle 11. The latter then proceeded to yell,

"WHAT TEAM?!"

Wally shouted back, "WILDCATS!"

"WHAT TEAM?!"

Another person joined in, "WILDCATS!"

"WHAT TEAM?!"

7 more people yelled, "WILDCATS!"

Almost 15 shouted with Dick and Wally, "WILDCATS, GET 'CHA HEAD IN THE GAME!" and cheered before going back to their shopping. One employee had a 'kill me now' look on his face, and walked away muttering about getting a new job.

* * *

"Nobody's coming, do it now!" Wally whispered quickly, looking around with eyes wide in excitement and mirth.

Dick picked up the store intercom and proceeded to announce,

"Dear Walmart customers, please note that today is our Wildcat Appreciation Day, and a 50% discount on all purchases will go to any customer who performs a musical number of their choice from the High School Musical movies in the front of the store. Thank you for your participation and please remember; Wildcats are red, Corbins are Bleu, This could be the start, Of something new. Go Wildcats!"

Hanging up, the two troublemakers each had to cling to the nearest object to support them as their sides heaved from silent, gasping laughter.

* * *

Several employees were in the front of the store yelling at each other and various customers, two of which who were trying to perform 'Bop to the Top'.

"There is no discount!" one employee yelled, a young girl in her twenties.

"Well not if you don't let us finish the song!" two teenagers exclaimed back at her. The line of people waiting to do a song for the discount started getting irritated, telling the performing couple to 'finish the blasted song already' among other things.

"Where's the manager?!"

* * *

"Did you wipe us off the security cameras yet?" Wally asked in an urgent whisper,

"Yep, they're checking them now but won't catch any trace of us," Dick told him, but his attention was suddenly directed towards the front of the store, where there was an unusual amount of people coming in. "Dude..." he said, trailing off as he scrolled on his phone, "Someone tweeted about it! This is about to get interesting...Onto phase 5! To the technology department!"

* * *

The technology section with all the TV's, computers, phones and such was still pretty normal, with a dozen or so people looking around and a few employees showing them different gadgets and whatnot. Wally was at one end of the TV's, while Dick was at the opposite end. He counted down with his fingers...3..2..1...he clicked his phone.

Every last TV, computer, phone, and tablet screen on display was suddenly playing Breaking Free quite loudly, turning every head towards the flat screen TV's where is was most pronounced. In the moment where Troy first yells "WE"RE BREAKIN FREE!", Dick and Wally ran at each other, with the dark haired teen jumping right at Wally, who caught him bridal style.

Looking around like they first noticed everyone, Dick pretended to look abashed and said, "Heh, sorry, just got so caught up in the _moment_!"

Wally dropped him, and they both hi-tailed it out of there with one of the employees in hot pursuit. Their snickering only intensified when the bearded employee shouted, "You're the no good twits who were on the intercom!", which resulted in intense laughter that made it almost impossible to run and stay out of reach of the irate employee. At one point Dick slipped, but used it to his advantage and trip their pursuer.

Like on many other occasions, they once again found themselves hiding underneath a couple of clothing racks.

"Now what." Wally pouted.

"Phase 6, that's what, you 'twit'" Dick told him, his choice of words making the two of them start laughing again. When a curious woman parted the shirts and looked at them with a confused look, the acrobat told her with a completely innocent and adorable expression,

"We're hiding from our mom."

The woman just sighed and muttered to herself as she walked away, "And I was told they grow out of that."

Mission Impossible style, they sneaked over to the sports section, picking up a nerf bat and balls.

"I don't dance!" Wally yelled at the 13 year old, but contradicted himself by swinging the bat around mockingly while moonwalking in a circle. Dick beamed 3 balls at him, all of which the redhead spectacularly missed.

Laughing at Wally, Dick told him, "Apparently you can't play baseball either!", which triggered a combined dodgeball/dance-off sort of event between the two of them, mixed with random choreography from HSM

dance numbers. However, it ended up evolving into full blown dodgeball, in which Dick dominated until...

"Mad bearded guy alert!" Wally shouted, then took off saying, "Gotta Go My Own Way dude!"

The mad bearded guy was literally right behind them; following Wally's lead, Dick was right on his heels, but not before replying, "But I though We're All In This Together! Surely We Can Work This Out?"

"Well, This will definitely be a Night to Remember,"

"You can Bet On It!"

"A person has to admit this guy's beard is Fabulous,"

This banter between them caused a round of laughter that almost got the pair caught by beard man, with their only saving factor being the large line in front of the store of people waiting to do their song. What they didn't count on was being shoved onto the performing area with the crowd chanting, "SING SING SING SING!"

Now, they COULD have done a song like The Boys are Back, but that just wasn't memorable enough.

Which is why they found themselves doing a completely overly exaggerated waltz together to Can I Have This Dance, much to the amusement of the crowd, of which almost everyone was crying tears of laughter.

The bearded man was butting in on stage, ready to grab them when...the duo did a quick bow, (Wally) blew a few kisses, and made a beeline for the exit, with the meaty hands of the bearded man reaching after them, yelling bizarre insults that the two filed away for future use.

The greatest part of this entire mess was a week later, when the two were hunched together in front of a computer, watching themselves waltzing together in a video on Youtube.

"You know, you really need to work on your technique." Dick told his best friend, shaking his head mockingly at Wally's dancing form.

"Ya, well, I didn't know who was leading!"

"You really need to just...get'cha head in the game..."

"_Dude_."

**What can I say; I got bored. At least I don't get bored and start shooting the wall or store severed heads in a fridge like a certain death faking, sharp cheekboned, mystery solving, pants forgetting, high functioning sociopath we all know love and cry over.**

**Anyway...Booyah ;)**


End file.
